Truth's

I have neglected my blog this month, and I will blame it on children. Enough Said.
 And today I am doing my 2009 Spring Cleaning (yes, I know it's 2010), so I will keep this short...


The following is a list of things that fall under the title...

Truth's I Have Learned:

1. The ratio of jelly to peanut butter should be 1:4, otherwise you will be very sticky.
2. Children really do want you to play with them, not out of boredom, but because they think of you as their friend and confidant.
3. Teenagers grunt,sigh, and roll their eyes just to see if they can make you mad enough to give up and do the dishes yourself. 
4. Day-before-payday meals are the most inventive.
5. 60-second dry time on nail polish is NOT fast enough for 5-year-olds.
6. Unless you are an abusive psycho- no matter how mad you get at the kids, they really do know  you love them.
7. Your children brag about you when you aren't around.
8. It's more important to brag or praise your children to others- sometimes, in front of your child- than to commiserate about child-rearing woes.
9. Letting your child see you worship God, read your Bible and practice your faith is more important than just teaching them the stories.
10. The scream volume of a wounded child is often the opposite of the wounds seriousness.
      A splinter removal = blood-curdling scream; Broke arm = questions about cast colors.
11. A child's questions are worth listening to and answering. I will be doing dishes for a lifetime, He/She  will   only ask this question once.
12. Entertaining the dreams or schemes of a child can change their future.
13. Being an adult does not mean the end of being silly.
14. That spaghetti, white bread and cheese are all bad for me.
15. That having it all isn't the reward - the road to getting there, is.

Until next time! Off to vacuum up year-old dust bunnies- full grown rabbits by now....

Yardwork

I write this with hands bent like claws, 2 Advil on board and sheer exhaustion running up my back...Gardening.

I have never done much of it until last year. Then, I planted my first "flower bed", and when the nice spring rains made everything burst into bloom and spread out this year, I was hooked. I planted 4 square vegetable gardens, and enjoyed that so much, I turned my eye toward my front yard.

I researched, measured,  watched every Yard Crashers episode, drew out plans, bought, bought and bought more stuff and off I went! (on a side note,I think Home Depot & Lowe's pay HGTV / DIY network to run subliminal messages just to me)
2 days into hoeing up weeds so that the weed prevention fabric could do it's job (I know, that's stupid, huh?), I realized a few things about myself:
1. I am no longer 16.
2. I am no longer in good shape.
3. I am creative.
4. I am cheap.
5. I am not above paying 2 teens that are both young and in shape to dig weeds for me.
6. It takes a lot of focus to not be distracted... SQUIRREL!...

 Needless to say, My eyes have gotten bigger than my gumption! No, I couldn't just replace the ugly bushes with pretty ones, I had to decide that since the huge pecan tree is so close to the house, why not incorporate it into the edged-off layout? And how about making the sidewalk to the door appear wider by shoveling a yard of river rock into a 4x15ft area- to soften the angles, you know. Oooooh, and let's look into placing step-stones through  it so there is a path to the side yard instead of walking around that lovely tree? Soften the line of the house with a 2 tall shrubs, plant 6 bushes, and 20+ flowering plants/grasses....oh, but first we (as in ME) must weed, rake, level, shovel and cover with fabric....
I'm tired. I paid 2 teen boys $20 a piece to finish most of the weeding and raking for me while I shoveled rocks. This is expensive! No wonder I have always been satisfied with weeds and some bulb flowers!

Here's a conversation I had with myself at H.Depot..."Ok, Self,  I need mulch now...Llama, you can't ride on the flat cart now, I have to stack the mulch on there. No. No. No.NO. NO! OFF!...ok, now what kind to pick? Hmmmmmm, well, I don't want colored. Ok, now of the 6 other varieties, I don't care for the huge chunky kind. Mark off 2 more. LLAMA, GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW WITH THAT CART!! Thank you for picking up the bushes that blew over, that was nice of you...STOP SWINGING OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE SHELVING!!! It could fall on you and squish you flat dead!..Where was I? Oh, yeah, ok, so hmmmm, these 3 all have the same amount, from 3 different kinds of tree wood....Hmmmm, I wonder why this one is $2.47 and this one is $2.97? And the one that is $2.97 is stacked up tall, the others are nearly gone....is it bad? Not good mulch? Hmmmmmmm...Llama, I know you are thirsty, just a minute and I will take you to McDonald's when we are done (yeah, I bribe sometimes- what of it?) What? You don't have to potty. You just went! Oh, come on- it's all the way in the back of the store! (I started whining here) OK, fine- let me stop everything so you can go pee for the 3rd time since we got here...(10 min. later) Yes, you were right, I'm sorry, you did have to pee. Ok, focus- MULCH- if I go with the cheaper one, is it cheap as in yuck?  
Let me ask someone....Oh, yes, Hi- I want 6 bags of this one. LLAMA, STOP CLIMBING ON THE BAGS, You're tearing holes in them!!!!!...Sorry about that- Why is there so much of this mulch and not the others? Oh, just restocked it..ahhh, gotcha. Yes, and I was wanting something for a Xeriscape, something native to plant on the corner of the house. Oh, that is nice (sneak peek at price) OK, well, let me look around- not quite sure if that's what I am looking for...LLAMA, STOP PICKING ALL THE FLOWERS OFF!...Thanks so much for helping me! ....and off we go...

Wasn't that a lovely experience? Now do that 4 more times this week, and I think you will have sympathy for me and be at my front door in the morning, ready to help finish this garden that I have fought so hard to get done!
WHAT? They do it on Yard Crashers!

Good night, all...

Satisfying the Questions of Llama

The family was watching American Idol last night, it was their annual "America gives back" episode. They provide relief to people in Africa stricken with AIDS. On the screen was a young girl. She looked like she was starving to death, but her story revealed that her mother died of AIDS and the lack of medical care meant this girl was born with HIV. These days, drugs make it easier for an infected mother, who is getting the right medications, to give birth to a child who would be disease free. Not so in this case.

Llama was very concerned for this girl. She was concerned that she was sick, that she was in the hospital and that she had no mother. Later, they showed that same girl after getting medical treatment and care. She was healthier, heavier and happier. Oh, what we can do with a few drugs and attention! Llama was glad the girl was better, but wanted to know if she was still in the hospital. She was not. She was in an orphanage.

Which brings us to THE conversation. What is an orphanage? Who will take care of her and help her if her mommy is dead? How did her mommy die? Will we die? To which Daddy Cool and I tried to answer her as plainly and honestly as we could. She was preoccupied with death for a few moments, a scary topic for many, and very scary to a child. Then she moved on to THE QUESTION.

She started by saying that she hoped someone would come and get the girl and take care of her. I mentioned maybe someone will adopt her. Adopt her? What is Adopt? Remember that you were born from another mommy's tummy, and then Daddy & I got to take care of you? That's 'adopt'. We adopted you and your bubba. Is my other mommy dead like that girls? No. Did she give me away to you, then? No. The mommy you were born from was sick with lots of problems and needed help to care for you. She is not dead. God gave you to us to love and take care of so we could be a family. You, Daddy, Joe and I. Yeah, and Spooky, too. Yes, and maybe someone will come and take that girl and love her and she can have a family, too, like us. Yeah, and she could be borned from another mommy, and then get a new mommy, daddy and bubba- and Spooky... Mommy, if that other lady gets better, will you have to give me back? Mommy, will you have to give me back? No, honey, you are ours forever. You will be my baby girl forever. Daddy and I will love you and care for you forever. OK. I have a family, and maybe that girl can have one, too. (insert thumb in mouth and suck in a very satisfied manner)

That was the general gist of the talk. It happened in just a few minutes, and I hope her heart will be satisfied. I know she will be more curious as she gets older, and I hope she will be able to process the bigness of adoption. Her brother has done well with it, processing it in his own way. But he is older and remembers more. She was a newborn. She remembers nothing else. Oh, how I wish she could never know otherwise. But I believe in truth and reality. And she is mine, born of my heart, pleaded for in my prayers- and she came. I can't help feeling that because we were blessed, all will go well.

She was satisfied to know that she is loved, cared for and belongs here. And that she will be here forever. Sort of like how we should feel with God. Glad to belong and be a part, and to be His child forever. There is part of a poem I keep, and my children make me think of it often:


They are idols of hearts and of households;
They are angels of God in disguise;
His sunlight still sleeps in their tresses,
His glory still gleams in their eyes;
Oh, these truants from home and from heaven -
They have made me more manly and mild;
And I know now how Jesus could liken
The kingdom of God to a child!
~ Charles M. Dickinson

So, bring it on, Llama. Ask away. The wisdom I pray for, and often think I will never have, seems to come forth when you ask these very important questions. And when you ask them, I understand what the Bible means when it speaks of talking to each other with love. And I think the Love is the Wisdom- and I hope my sweet boy and girl can feel it and know that, although life is not perfect, so much can be made better by sharing that Love. I love you, Llama girl and Joe Cool.

Cinderella 101

Llama and I went to see Cinderella at a local Children's Theatre this weekend. Anyone with a young daughter will understand how significant an event this was. Llama woke early Saturday, on a mission to find the "perfect" outfit to wear. After arguing over why she couldn't wear her leotard or her 2 year old ratty, dirty old Cinderella dress, we headed to Wal-Mart to try and find something else appropriate.
If you've had the privilege to read "Pinkalicious", you can see what my child looked like. She had on a Pink Tutu, Sparkly crown, delicate slippers, white gloves complete with pink fur trim and a "cupcake" wand- just to tie the whole ensemble together. Ridiculously frilly in concept, yet perfect in it's 5 yr-old execution. She felt beautiful- like a Princess.
The play was fun, a Rogers & Hammerstein musical, which is not the Disney story most of the kids are used to. Llama spent most of her time asking when Cinderella was going to go to the ball, and get married and KISS THE PRINCE. The most important part of any Princess story- THE KISS. For my Llama, that was the icing on the cupcake- the pinnacle of perfection, the Taj to her Mahal. The wide-eyed grin she turned and gave me when Prince Charming kissed Cinderella was priceless.
Ah, to be so innocent to think a kiss is all it takes! After the play, the characters came out to sign autographs for the kids. In the interest of time between shows- The Prince and Cinderella were not allowed to pose for pictures, just sign autographs in a quickly moving line. Llama, who had stripped most of her accessories off, quickly put them all back so that she would be decked out to meet Royalty. She would have loved to climb into Cinderella's lap and talk to her, to hug her, to ask her about Kissing the Prince. Alas, she had to be satisfied with staring at them in their regal wedding attire- a wistful sigh on her lips and yearning in her eyes.
Llama spent the rest of that day, and the next, pretending to be a Princess. I had to pry the wand out of her hand, and peel the outfit off of her for church. She got a souvenir glass slipper, which she promptly tried to put on...
Next month, it's Peter Pan. She already asked if he is going to fly...now to watch and be sure she doesn't try it herself!

I look at my Pinkerella and think back to my youth. I am thankful that I am able to help her indulge her imagination. Since having her cast removed, she is leery about doing gymnastics again. I have given her the choice of gymnastics or trying a dance class. I wish I had been given those choices as a child. But a military Dad just didn't understand how desperately I wanted to be a Ballerina. I would practice Pirouette's and Plies. I did a marvelous Arabesque on the footstool to Beach Boys tunes on the 8-track.
Sigh...I could've been a Prima Ballerina!! So now, as a mom, I try to listen to my children's dreams...and as long as she wants to be a Princess, I will help her in any way I can. After all, we will not pass this way again, and I hope she will one day look back and remember the time she was a Fairy, a Princess, a Super-Star...a Llama, Llama Girly Drama!!!

Spring fever

Who knew that earthquakes in Chile would result in a tomato shortage? So, because we sell quite a bit of produce during the peak season at our shop, and we are unwilling to pay 2-3x normal cost for sub-par tomatoes, we are busy building large square gardens to grow tomatoes in.
Llama and I had planted two smaller 4x4 gardens with cucumbers, lettuce, green beans, carrots, strawberries and cantelope. Just enough for our family.Now we are going to be tending 3 or 4 8x8 gardens full of tomatoes,onions and bell peppers- all in short supply this year. Fun, fun. At least, because they are raised beds, we won't be stooped over weeding all season. Now to keep fire ants and animals out...

Spring brings with it 30mph sustained winds, which ruins the 80* fun. We were 6 days short of the 100 year old record for number of days below 80*, until today. If you've ever lived in Texas, you know that's a big deal. Hopefully April will be softer and mild. I'm so not ready for the Texas heat.
I also hope April will bring better things for Joe Cool. Without details, poor Joe is deep in the throws of 15. He is like a cable TV channel- All Drama, All the Time, 24/7, 12 months, 365- and yesterday was the Special Movie-of-the-week. He surprised us with a subtle (not) hint of what turmoil is going on in his mind. Joe is the strong, silent type. Unless he yells back, I don't have a clue what he's feeling or thinking. I didn't yell at him, and he didn't yell back. He didn't say a word, yet I heard him loud and clear. And poor kid forgets he lives in a small town, where news spreads fast- thankfully he was home before all my hair fell out.
So, now I am left looking around and into myself. Am I too smothering? Too hard? Too soft? Too vocal? What do I not understand, and why don't I get it? Cool Daddy didn't seem too upset- he got right to the heart of the matter and laughed it off. I had nightmares. I hurt for him. I wish I could take his cares away.
Today I want to crawl into Joe's head and dig around until I get it. Maybe it's not just him, but all males. I hope Llama girl isn't like this. I hope, because she's a girl, that she will be more verbal with her thoughts. There isn't anything wrong with Joe, I'm just a woman who looks at the male species through a telescope.He's on Mars, I'm on Venus. And the mental cell phone service here bites.

Spring Fever also brings that ridiculous thing we call Daylight Savings Time. That wonderful thing that makes us stay out late, enjoying the warmth and tending the yard, that thing that makes us not sleepy at bed time- also makes us all look like zombies in the morning. Poor Llama is still bouncing around at 10pm, only to stand in the living room at 7am looking like she isn't going to survive her late night bender.

So, between the yard, the time, the garden, the laundry, the dishes, and the errands, I am trying to get a grip on this new reality. The time has changed, the seasons as well. And I hope that the new fragile state of Joe is temporary. That he doesn't break. That with Gods help, we can hold him tenderly enough to protect him, support him and help him move forward with as few dings, chips or cracks as possible. After all, anyone who has a Joe Cool or Llama, Llama in their possession understands just what precious, and valued treasures they are. Priceless.

Growing Boy

Joe Cool got his letter jacket today. He looked so "cool" sauntering into the house, waiting for us to ooo-ahhh over him. Now, just by looking at his coat, I know what year he graduates, his last name, what instrument he plays and for sure, that his school colors are purple & white. So awesome.

In the last few weeks, really- more like every day- I see him growing up. Making decisions. Not always good ones, like having no good reason for not turning in math work on time. But still, generally speaking, more mature decisions.
Out of the same mouth that can rattled on about sports highlights, and whine about not getting his way, comes things like: "Dad, when I get my license, I think I should drive Old Flaky to school and you should drive the Ranger, because the Ranger gets better gas mileage, and you have farther to go to work. Then, when I leave for college, I will drive it, cuz I will be driving farther."

It really is fun to watch the lights switch on in that brain of his. He is even trying to outgrow the drama of girls. Gossipy girls. Dramatic, over-the-top girls. Lead-him-around-by-the-ring-in-his-nose girls. Now he has settled on a girl that is sweet, funny, hard working, gentle, and-this is very important- can't text, so they talk on the phone-a lot! Sigh. It's (sniffle) beautiful. Not saying he won't be a dork sometimes, but we are so glad to see him try to pull that ring out of his nose (not literally-his dad would kill him) and start leading himself around with his brain!

Joe's report card last time was even good. Well, good for him. No failing grades. Mostly A's. He wouldn't have had C's in 2 classes if he had turned his work in on time- the direct result of refusing to write things down, and trying to rely on a 15 yr-old boy brain to remember all he has to do. (yeah, that's funny).

It's really wild to know that scientifically, boys don't mature to their best until around 24- that sense of reason, logic and consequences is still trying to fully form. So if it seems he is doing this good, that he is this good NOW- what in the world will he be like THEN? Blows my mind.

Of course, we haven't ventured into the dating scene yet. It's coming quickly, the license will be obtained this summer. He smells good when he leaves for school, takes extra time brushing his braces (wonder why?) and fusses with his hair and face more. He has even been occasionally cleaning his room-voluntarily. No joke. Shocked me, too. Me thinks that red-headed girl is a good influence. :)

I really have no point to this, other than to marvel at what God made when he made teenagers. I wonder- when people lived 800+ years, how long did the adolescent phase last? I can't imagine funky gym socks and attitude for 50 years! Yikes!

If you have ever seen Snoopy as Joe Cool, you know how my Joe rolls- sometimes Cool, sometimes he loses it, always waiting for more food with empty bowl in hand... and yet, he dances that dance, that famous Snoopy dance- chin back, big grin on- groovin' to his own beat and learning to navigate around his world in his happy, carefree way.

She's 5

My Llama is 5. Last night I commented on the behavior of 5-year-old's, and it really hit me. My baby is 5. My unexpected, but secretly begged for, bundle of love is 5. My precocious, obnoxious, joyous, boisterous, one-of-a-kind Princess, is 5.

1- you were a blur. 2- you were a delight. 3- you were what I thought 2 would be. 4- you were a rapid-fire pistol with a hair trigger. What does 5 mean? It will be interesting to wait and see.

I will for sure have to be more careful with my sarcastic 'whit'- yesterday she asked me why I wear makeup to church, to which I replied, " so I don't scare people". Well, no more than 20 minutes later, while arguing with her about what she could take to Bible class with her, she agreed to leave the tiara behind, but the purple lipstick was staying in her pink-casted grip. Why? "Because I have to keep putting it on when it comes off, so I am beautiful and so I don't scare people." sigh.

She was doing cartwheels this weekend. Yes- with her cast on, her arm bent at 90 degrees. No, I don't know how. But with her 3 week check up this week, if the doctor suggests a shorter cast, I may ask him how having a free-to-move elbow and cart wheels will affect the healing. Amazing how determined she can be! She was trying to swing on the monkey bars as well. I think if the cast material between her thumb and first finger had not been so bulky, she would have been swinging across them proudly.

I sometimes wonder: what do others think of my girl? What do they think of us as parents? She is forward, open and stubborn. But I truly sometimes have a hard time holding her back. Oh, we expect respect and obedience. But my heart really doesn't want to slow her down. I secretly rejoice in her wild abandon. I admire her bravado. I envy her determination. I don't want to stifle her, so I try to direct her. Several times I have said, and others have told me, that she will be a hand full as a teen. We are hoping to direct her toward things that will allow her to be the joy that she is.

Like a Dandelion. I don't want to pick the wild out of this flower, or try to contain it, only to watch it wither away. I want to see her grow, wildly beautiful, on her own terms. Not easily controlled, looked on with disdain by some as a pesky weed, but loved by others as a fun, happy flower that springs up overnight, ready to play- blow! blow! blow! come dance and twirl in the winds with me! Ah, I can see her- can you?
My Dandelion- made by God, and therefore, worthy of a chance to BE. I pray for God's guidance to help her grow in praise of Him and the flower He has created.

My Dandelion is 5, watch out world- here she comes.