I write this with hands bent like claws, 2 Advil on board and sheer exhaustion running up my back...Gardening.
I have never done much of it until last year. Then, I planted my first "flower bed", and when the nice spring rains made everything burst into bloom and spread out this year, I was hooked. I planted 4 square vegetable gardens, and enjoyed that so much, I turned my eye toward my front yard.
I researched, measured, watched every Yard Crashers episode, drew out plans, bought, bought and bought more stuff and off I went! (on a side note,I think Home Depot & Lowe's pay HGTV / DIY network to run subliminal messages just to me)
2 days into hoeing up weeds so that the weed prevention fabric could do it's job (I know, that's stupid, huh?), I realized a few things about myself:
1. I am no longer 16.
2. I am no longer in good shape.
3. I am creative.
4. I am cheap.
5. I am not above paying 2 teens that are both young and in shape to dig weeds for me.
6. It takes a lot of focus to not be distracted... SQUIRREL!...
Needless to say, My eyes have gotten bigger than my gumption! No, I couldn't just replace the ugly bushes with pretty ones, I had to decide that since the huge pecan tree is so close to the house, why not incorporate it into the edged-off layout? And how about making the sidewalk to the door appear wider by shoveling a yard of river rock into a 4x15ft area- to soften the angles, you know. Oooooh, and let's look into placing step-stones through it so there is a path to the side yard instead of walking around that lovely tree? Soften the line of the house with a 2 tall shrubs, plant 6 bushes, and 20+ flowering plants/grasses....oh, but first we (as in ME) must weed, rake, level, shovel and cover with fabric....
I'm tired. I paid 2 teen boys $20 a piece to finish most of the weeding and raking for me while I shoveled rocks. This is expensive! No wonder I have always been satisfied with weeds and some bulb flowers!
Here's a conversation I had with myself at H.Depot..."Ok, Self, I need mulch now...Llama, you can't ride on the flat cart now, I have to stack the mulch on there. No. No. No.NO. NO! OFF!...ok, now what kind to pick? Hmmmmmm, well, I don't want colored. Ok, now of the 6 other varieties, I don't care for the huge chunky kind. Mark off 2 more. LLAMA, GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW WITH THAT CART!! Thank you for picking up the bushes that blew over, that was nice of you...STOP SWINGING OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE SHELVING!!! It could fall on you and squish you flat dead!..Where was I? Oh, yeah, ok, so hmmmm, these 3 all have the same amount, from 3 different kinds of tree wood....Hmmmm, I wonder why this one is $2.47 and this one is $2.97? And the one that is $2.97 is stacked up tall, the others are nearly gone....is it bad? Not good mulch? Hmmmmmmm...Llama, I know you are thirsty, just a minute and I will take you to McDonald's when we are done (yeah, I bribe sometimes- what of it?) What? You don't have to potty. You just went! Oh, come on- it's all the way in the back of the store! (I started whining here) OK, fine- let me stop everything so you can go pee for the 3rd time since we got here...(10 min. later) Yes, you were right, I'm sorry, you did have to pee. Ok, focus- MULCH- if I go with the cheaper one, is it cheap as in yuck?
Let me ask someone....Oh, yes, Hi- I want 6 bags of this one. LLAMA, STOP CLIMBING ON THE BAGS, You're tearing holes in them!!!!!...Sorry about that- Why is there so much of this mulch and not the others? Oh, just restocked it..ahhh, gotcha. Yes, and I was wanting something for a Xeriscape, something native to plant on the corner of the house. Oh, that is nice (sneak peek at price) OK, well, let me look around- not quite sure if that's what I am looking for...LLAMA, STOP PICKING ALL THE FLOWERS OFF!...Thanks so much for helping me! ....and off we go...
Wasn't that a lovely experience? Now do that 4 more times this week, and I think you will have sympathy for me and be at my front door in the morning, ready to help finish this garden that I have fought so hard to get done!
WHAT? They do it on Yard Crashers!
Good night, all...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Satisfying the Questions of Llama
The family was watching American Idol last night, it was their annual "America gives back" episode. They provide relief to people in Africa stricken with AIDS. On the screen was a young girl. She looked like she was starving to death, but her story revealed that her mother died of AIDS and the lack of medical care meant this girl was born with HIV. These days, drugs make it easier for an infected mother, who is getting the right medications, to give birth to a child who would be disease free. Not so in this case.
Llama was very concerned for this girl. She was concerned that she was sick, that she was in the hospital and that she had no mother. Later, they showed that same girl after getting medical treatment and care. She was healthier, heavier and happier. Oh, what we can do with a few drugs and attention! Llama was glad the girl was better, but wanted to know if she was still in the hospital. She was not. She was in an orphanage.
Which brings us to THE conversation. What is an orphanage? Who will take care of her and help her if her mommy is dead? How did her mommy die? Will we die? To which Daddy Cool and I tried to answer her as plainly and honestly as we could. She was preoccupied with death for a few moments, a scary topic for many, and very scary to a child. Then she moved on to THE QUESTION.
She started by saying that she hoped someone would come and get the girl and take care of her. I mentioned maybe someone will adopt her. Adopt her? What is Adopt? Remember that you were born from another mommy's tummy, and then Daddy & I got to take care of you? That's 'adopt'. We adopted you and your bubba. Is my other mommy dead like that girls? No. Did she give me away to you, then? No. The mommy you were born from was sick with lots of problems and needed help to care for you. She is not dead. God gave you to us to love and take care of so we could be a family. You, Daddy, Joe and I. Yeah, and Spooky, too. Yes, and maybe someone will come and take that girl and love her and she can have a family, too, like us. Yeah, and she could be borned from another mommy, and then get a new mommy, daddy and bubba- and Spooky... Mommy, if that other lady gets better, will you have to give me back? Mommy, will you have to give me back? No, honey, you are ours forever. You will be my baby girl forever. Daddy and I will love you and care for you forever. OK. I have a family, and maybe that girl can have one, too. (insert thumb in mouth and suck in a very satisfied manner)
That was the general gist of the talk. It happened in just a few minutes, and I hope her heart will be satisfied. I know she will be more curious as she gets older, and I hope she will be able to process the bigness of adoption. Her brother has done well with it, processing it in his own way. But he is older and remembers more. She was a newborn. She remembers nothing else. Oh, how I wish she could never know otherwise. But I believe in truth and reality. And she is mine, born of my heart, pleaded for in my prayers- and she came. I can't help feeling that because we were blessed, all will go well.
She was satisfied to know that she is loved, cared for and belongs here. And that she will be here forever. Sort of like how we should feel with God. Glad to belong and be a part, and to be His child forever. There is part of a poem I keep, and my children make me think of it often:
They are idols of hearts and of households;
They are angels of God in disguise;
His sunlight still sleeps in their tresses,
His glory still gleams in their eyes;
Oh, these truants from home and from heaven -
They have made me more manly and mild;
And I know now how Jesus could liken
The kingdom of God to a child!
~ Charles M. Dickinson
So, bring it on, Llama. Ask away. The wisdom I pray for, and often think I will never have, seems to come forth when you ask these very important questions. And when you ask them, I understand what the Bible means when it speaks of talking to each other with love. And I think the Love is the Wisdom- and I hope my sweet boy and girl can feel it and know that, although life is not perfect, so much can be made better by sharing that Love. I love you, Llama girl and Joe Cool.
Llama was very concerned for this girl. She was concerned that she was sick, that she was in the hospital and that she had no mother. Later, they showed that same girl after getting medical treatment and care. She was healthier, heavier and happier. Oh, what we can do with a few drugs and attention! Llama was glad the girl was better, but wanted to know if she was still in the hospital. She was not. She was in an orphanage.
Which brings us to THE conversation. What is an orphanage? Who will take care of her and help her if her mommy is dead? How did her mommy die? Will we die? To which Daddy Cool and I tried to answer her as plainly and honestly as we could. She was preoccupied with death for a few moments, a scary topic for many, and very scary to a child. Then she moved on to THE QUESTION.
She started by saying that she hoped someone would come and get the girl and take care of her. I mentioned maybe someone will adopt her. Adopt her? What is Adopt? Remember that you were born from another mommy's tummy, and then Daddy & I got to take care of you? That's 'adopt'. We adopted you and your bubba. Is my other mommy dead like that girls? No. Did she give me away to you, then? No. The mommy you were born from was sick with lots of problems and needed help to care for you. She is not dead. God gave you to us to love and take care of so we could be a family. You, Daddy, Joe and I. Yeah, and Spooky, too. Yes, and maybe someone will come and take that girl and love her and she can have a family, too, like us. Yeah, and she could be borned from another mommy, and then get a new mommy, daddy and bubba- and Spooky... Mommy, if that other lady gets better, will you have to give me back? Mommy, will you have to give me back? No, honey, you are ours forever. You will be my baby girl forever. Daddy and I will love you and care for you forever. OK. I have a family, and maybe that girl can have one, too. (insert thumb in mouth and suck in a very satisfied manner)
That was the general gist of the talk. It happened in just a few minutes, and I hope her heart will be satisfied. I know she will be more curious as she gets older, and I hope she will be able to process the bigness of adoption. Her brother has done well with it, processing it in his own way. But he is older and remembers more. She was a newborn. She remembers nothing else. Oh, how I wish she could never know otherwise. But I believe in truth and reality. And she is mine, born of my heart, pleaded for in my prayers- and she came. I can't help feeling that because we were blessed, all will go well.
She was satisfied to know that she is loved, cared for and belongs here. And that she will be here forever. Sort of like how we should feel with God. Glad to belong and be a part, and to be His child forever. There is part of a poem I keep, and my children make me think of it often:
They are idols of hearts and of households;
They are angels of God in disguise;
His sunlight still sleeps in their tresses,
His glory still gleams in their eyes;
Oh, these truants from home and from heaven -
They have made me more manly and mild;
And I know now how Jesus could liken
The kingdom of God to a child!
~ Charles M. Dickinson
So, bring it on, Llama. Ask away. The wisdom I pray for, and often think I will never have, seems to come forth when you ask these very important questions. And when you ask them, I understand what the Bible means when it speaks of talking to each other with love. And I think the Love is the Wisdom- and I hope my sweet boy and girl can feel it and know that, although life is not perfect, so much can be made better by sharing that Love. I love you, Llama girl and Joe Cool.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Cinderella 101
Llama and I went to see Cinderella at a local Children's Theatre this weekend. Anyone with a young daughter will understand how significant an event this was. Llama woke early Saturday, on a mission to find the "perfect" outfit to wear. After arguing over why she couldn't wear her leotard or her 2 year old ratty, dirty old Cinderella dress, we headed to Wal-Mart to try and find something else appropriate.
If you've had the privilege to read "Pinkalicious", you can see what my child looked like. She had on a Pink Tutu, Sparkly crown, delicate slippers, white gloves complete with pink fur trim and a "cupcake" wand- just to tie the whole ensemble together. Ridiculously frilly in concept, yet perfect in it's 5 yr-old execution. She felt beautiful- like a Princess.
The play was fun, a Rogers & Hammerstein musical, which is not the Disney story most of the kids are used to. Llama spent most of her time asking when Cinderella was going to go to the ball, and get married and KISS THE PRINCE. The most important part of any Princess story- THE KISS. For my Llama, that was the icing on the cupcake- the pinnacle of perfection, the Taj to her Mahal. The wide-eyed grin she turned and gave me when Prince Charming kissed Cinderella was priceless.
Ah, to be so innocent to think a kiss is all it takes! After the play, the characters came out to sign autographs for the kids. In the interest of time between shows- The Prince and Cinderella were not allowed to pose for pictures, just sign autographs in a quickly moving line. Llama, who had stripped most of her accessories off, quickly put them all back so that she would be decked out to meet Royalty. She would have loved to climb into Cinderella's lap and talk to her, to hug her, to ask her about Kissing the Prince. Alas, she had to be satisfied with staring at them in their regal wedding attire- a wistful sigh on her lips and yearning in her eyes.
Llama spent the rest of that day, and the next, pretending to be a Princess. I had to pry the wand out of her hand, and peel the outfit off of her for church. She got a souvenir glass slipper, which she promptly tried to put on...
Next month, it's Peter Pan. She already asked if he is going to fly...now to watch and be sure she doesn't try it herself!
I look at my Pinkerella and think back to my youth. I am thankful that I am able to help her indulge her imagination. Since having her cast removed, she is leery about doing gymnastics again. I have given her the choice of gymnastics or trying a dance class. I wish I had been given those choices as a child. But a military Dad just didn't understand how desperately I wanted to be a Ballerina. I would practice Pirouette's and Plies. I did a marvelous Arabesque on the footstool to Beach Boys tunes on the 8-track.
Sigh...I could've been a Prima Ballerina!! So now, as a mom, I try to listen to my children's dreams...and as long as she wants to be a Princess, I will help her in any way I can. After all, we will not pass this way again, and I hope she will one day look back and remember the time she was a Fairy, a Princess, a Super-Star...a Llama, Llama Girly Drama!!!
If you've had the privilege to read "Pinkalicious", you can see what my child looked like. She had on a Pink Tutu, Sparkly crown, delicate slippers, white gloves complete with pink fur trim and a "cupcake" wand- just to tie the whole ensemble together. Ridiculously frilly in concept, yet perfect in it's 5 yr-old execution. She felt beautiful- like a Princess.
The play was fun, a Rogers & Hammerstein musical, which is not the Disney story most of the kids are used to. Llama spent most of her time asking when Cinderella was going to go to the ball, and get married and KISS THE PRINCE. The most important part of any Princess story- THE KISS. For my Llama, that was the icing on the cupcake- the pinnacle of perfection, the Taj to her Mahal. The wide-eyed grin she turned and gave me when Prince Charming kissed Cinderella was priceless.
Ah, to be so innocent to think a kiss is all it takes! After the play, the characters came out to sign autographs for the kids. In the interest of time between shows- The Prince and Cinderella were not allowed to pose for pictures, just sign autographs in a quickly moving line. Llama, who had stripped most of her accessories off, quickly put them all back so that she would be decked out to meet Royalty. She would have loved to climb into Cinderella's lap and talk to her, to hug her, to ask her about Kissing the Prince. Alas, she had to be satisfied with staring at them in their regal wedding attire- a wistful sigh on her lips and yearning in her eyes.
Llama spent the rest of that day, and the next, pretending to be a Princess. I had to pry the wand out of her hand, and peel the outfit off of her for church. She got a souvenir glass slipper, which she promptly tried to put on...
Next month, it's Peter Pan. She already asked if he is going to fly...now to watch and be sure she doesn't try it herself!
I look at my Pinkerella and think back to my youth. I am thankful that I am able to help her indulge her imagination. Since having her cast removed, she is leery about doing gymnastics again. I have given her the choice of gymnastics or trying a dance class. I wish I had been given those choices as a child. But a military Dad just didn't understand how desperately I wanted to be a Ballerina. I would practice Pirouette's and Plies. I did a marvelous Arabesque on the footstool to Beach Boys tunes on the 8-track.
Sigh...I could've been a Prima Ballerina!! So now, as a mom, I try to listen to my children's dreams...and as long as she wants to be a Princess, I will help her in any way I can. After all, we will not pass this way again, and I hope she will one day look back and remember the time she was a Fairy, a Princess, a Super-Star...a Llama, Llama Girly Drama!!!
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