Rules of Children

Along with my own Llama- age 4, I am privileged to also care for a Llama in the making-1 1/2, a Certified Princess-4, and a Super Hero-3. Needless to say, every day is an adventure. We have also been foster parents and often have other kids with us.

Here are several common truths I have learned... (not necessarily related to the current children at all)...

1. The "MINE" rule is real: What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine. And the patience level is directly related to how badly I want it to be 'mine' right NOW.
2. There will always be one child that does not want to do whatever it is everyone else is doing.
3. There will always be one child that wants to be alone- in the middle of whatever room everyone else is in.
4. There will always be a 50/50 divide on macaroni and cheese preferences- half prefer traditional Kraft, the other half likes Velveeta shells & cheese. So every other time, 2 kids won't eat.

4.1. Some might not like peanut butter, others, no jelly- but no one likes crust- so be sure to have some long blade scissors on hand to simplify crust removal!

5. If you present a food the kids don't like, let them make it gross and they'll eat it. Carrots are nasty? Dip them in yogurt and ketchup- instant YUM. I still don't know why.
6. Socks are bio-degraded and disappear as soon as they land on the floor.
7. A diaper clad child will often poop when you are in a hurry and on your way out the door.
8. The amount of snot expelled with a sneeze is directly related to the distance the child is out of reach from a tissue wielding mother in the car.
9. The children have figured out how to not be seen hitting each other or fighting, they can even do it out of view of my 'eyes in the back of my head'.
10. If a child says, "what?" or "huh?" to a question, they did it. period.
11. A dancing child is often in denial about needing to pee, and will only admit it after fully clothed in 3 layers of coats, sweaters and gloves...
12. Waking a child before they are done napping is not beneficial to your sanity.
13. Any business that does not offer either the exact same gender generic toy, or the right number of gender specific toys should be boycotted and should be aware that they may one day have to pay for my medications.
14. If you care for a few beloved children, complete strangers will think you are fair game to ask if you will care for their kids. They do not know you, they do not care. Scarey, huh?
15. Libraries are the best place for a parent to let off steam- all that "shhhhh"-ing is just steam.
16. Reading books will save a parents sanity, always, in any situation.
17. A parent sitting in the floor is an automatic monkey perch, pillow, trampoline and wrestling opponent. All at once. And happily.
18. The number of variations of naptime kisses is infinite. Princess, Frog, Batman and Ballerina kisses are all completely different, yet perfect in their execution from slobbery kid lips!
19. The length of a child's nap is exactly 1/2 as long as you need it to be.
20. Never be afraid to become completely absorbed in the book you are reading to the child to the extent that you do all the voices, motions and facial expressions. The look on the kids faces is worth it, always.

and 21. Never forget that hugs, kisses and snuggles are always welcome, even if they're mad. And they are freely given back in return, always, even when you are mad.

And my lesson for today...that broken stick you saw but didn't move before the child climbed up the tree? Yeah, she fell.. yeah, it scratched her. Every time.

Happy Wednesday ya'll!